Quick Thoughts on Parent/Teacher Conferences

It is conference time. Many schools are scheduling meetings with teachers and parents over the next month or so. You may have already had yours. Mine is coming up this week. As teachers and parents, we have a unique perspective on these important conversations.

• Send home a questionnaire. This is helpful for both the parents and for you. It lets you know what is on your parents’ minds. It alerts you to issues you may not have thought about. And, it allows you to prepare for a difficult or challenging issue. This way, you don’t get blindsided in person.

• Prepare. This may sound obvious, but I think if you have 20 minutes with a parent it will take you 20–40 minutes to get ready for the conference. You need to assemble samples of student work, gather concrete evidence of points you want to make, and outline what you want to say. In my own experience, when I took the time to be really ready for each conversation, they went much more smoothly than when I quickly jotted a few points the night before the conference.

• Pace your conference. Twenty minutes is a short time for a meeting about some of our students. If we don’t pace them well, we may not get to the big points we want to make. We also want to leave a few minutes for questions from the parents. You can’t run over—this will ruin your schedule for the day—so pacing the conference is critical.

• Smile and let your students’ parents know just how much you care about their children. You may end up disagreeing with a parent about the student’s progress or about what to do about behavior issues, but if they know that you really care about their child and that you are doing your best for them, it goes along way toward fostering a smooth partnership.

• Fill out your teacher's questionnaire thoughtfully. Don’t do it in the parking lot 5 minutes before school starts. If your child’s teacher does not send home a questionnaire, send them an e-mail with a few items you want to talk about at the conference. This allows them to prepare for the things you care about. Also—don’t blindside the teacher with a problem or issue you have not raised before. Any answer they give won’t represent their best thinking.

• Respect their time. Teacher conference days are full and very draining. If you run out of time, see if you can schedule another meeting a few weeks away to check-in. Most teachers welcome meetings with parents as long as you don’t just drop in and expect them to do it right then.

• Listen. This may sound obvious, but your child’s teacher has thought a great deal about your child and his or her progress. You may not like what you hear all of the time, but by listening and assuming best intentions, you may learn something about your child.  

• Enjoy the conversation. When else do we get a chance to talk about the social, emotional, and academic growth of our children? It is a great opportunity to just hear what is happening for our children for the many hours they spend at school.